Monday, February 1, 2010


Well now, isn't this a cheery start? This is based on the current prompt at Quote Snack. The prompt is behind the "read more" link at the end so as not to spoil those who might wish to participate.

It haunts me most in the wee hours of the morning. It is that time of day when there are no ordinary sounds to drown out my thoughts; no distractions of motherhood or housewife, or even those of a day job. Never mind that the day job is no more, even so there is nothing to stop the thoughts from flooding my soul.

They come in waves of memories from a past life, a childhood that was left behind long ago. From a teenage birthday party comes memories of second grade, fifth grade, and then sometimes skips all the way backward to kindergarten. Faces are as vivid in my thoughts as they were in life and seven year old friends with spaces where their baby teeth used to be never seem to age. They will always be thus in my memories.

Inevitably my thoughts turn closer to home, to those I have lost. When I speak of them I smile and share happy memories, sometimes laughing at the past. But in the wee hours of the morning I weep. I weep as the darkness closes aorund me and I can't allow the sounds of my grief to be heard. No one understands the depth of my loss but me. Others have their own losses, but mine? It is my own and I cling to it silently.

In the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share.

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